Roll 'Dem Bones

Damn I got an itch for goin' to Vegas! My brother brought his new boyfriend up to NoCal about a week ago to meet the folks. My mom sent a late Christmas gift for me back with him. She was bothered at Christmas because she really wanted to give it to me in person but it was back-ordered. I ripped off the paper and there it was - a Monopoly game, Las Vegas style. You know, just when I'm convinced that my Mom has no clue about who I am or what makes me tick, she goes and does something like this. I used to host a monthly game night. (I need to get that going again since I now have the time.) I would mention it to her but never really thought she paid attention. The Vegas part I get, that's one thing that runs in the family. Both sides. I'll have to tell this story another time but my Grandfather actually taught me, and all my cousins, all the ins and outs of Black Jack. Oh what the hell... The best part was, we played for money. He always kept old medication containers full of change in his dresser. Whenever any of us wanted to play, he was right there with us. And when we lost, there was no going easy on us. He kept every cent of it! That's why I learned very quickly when to stay, when to hit and everything in between. Thanks to Grandpa, once I got a little older, he'd let me deal the cards and my younger cousins would walk away broke. Lucky for me I'm full-blooded Mexican so you can safely assume there was no shortage of cousins. I always looked forward to the day I could go to Reno with my Grandpa. He died when I was sixteen. When my Dad cleaned out his dresser, he found container after container of coins. I wouldn't doubt if each one was from each grandchild. Some people might think it a strange way to bond with a grandchild. I'd say I was closer to him than any other of my grandparents. Sometimes when I'm sitting at that table covering third base and I have an ify hand, I can still hear his voice. He'd scratch his head and say "Whoo, doggie!" Good times, good times.

Fun Times

I’m watching a movie I tivo’d the other day called Roger Dodger. It started off interesting. Not too many characters but some names, Isabella Rossellini, Campbell Scott, Jennifer Beals and Elizabeth Berkley. Right when it had me though it took a plunge . Too bad. Don’t you hate when you invest enough time in a bad film that you don’t want to walk away then you inevitably end up thinking “why didn’t I just stop watching that shit?” Yeah. Happening right now. Lots of things going on for me lately. It’s great not to be buried in work and now I’m finally filling up my life with things that I either have really wanted to do or getting crap done that I need to do. So what exactly have I been doing? Let’s put this down on “paper” so that I can refer back later on. This is actually a strange time in my life. Yesterday my brother had a small birthday gathering for himself. We all went to see Kill Bill vol. 2. Great film. I really like both of them even though they each have completely different vibes. Afterward, we went to his place. I got him a digital camera for his birthday. Damn thing is nicer than mine! No, I wanted to give him something nice. He’s the best brother anyone could have. Had my third interview with the company that I now know I would like to work for. Still nothing solid but this is not a new thing. I was slowly dragged through nine interviews before I got my last job. I really think this company has a lot of potential. It’s newer but exploding with business and opportunities I want a chance to ride the wave with them. I finally got my final bonus paid out for this last project. The amount taken out in taxes was almost enough to make me throw something across the room. Jesus, I was the one who earned that money! And this time my saying “hard earned money” is by no means just a phrase. I literally worked my ass off for that money and what actually ended up in my bank account is pathetic. What’s even more pathetic is the thought of what that money will be spent on and who will be spending it. Ugh! Can’t talk about that anymore. So I got the database all snazzy now. It’s got all the necessary features, looks sleek, yet will be easy for anyone to open up and use. Only one problem now – it won’t let me enter the data. Yes, anal me went and put all the bells and whistles in and forgot the most basic step – testing the functionality at every move. I’ve pin-pointed the place where the problem showed up. Now I just have to backtrack and fix it. I’ve put that one down for a while. Bought a new PC game, Mafia. Very cool graphics. The setting is the 1930’s and you are a guy working your way up to being made. This game is really well-written. Someone did their homework. The weapons, the dialog, even the cars are all accurate. Funny thing is after playing GTA for so long and cruisin’ in Ferraris, Hummers and on Motorcycles, it’s really hard to control these old jalopies. Luckily the cars chasing you are just as slow and awkward too. Fun game. In between this I’ve been off and on entering my music into my external hard drive. This is going to be a long process but very rewarding once it’s done. And last, Kari is having her CD release party next week. This is definitely going to be something to experience. I feel like I’m a part of this and that’s so cool for me. This is as close as I’ll ever get to such an experience. I was there when the initial talks were taking place, was in the studio, shot footage of the sessions and took pictures, I got to put my two cents in on the design of the CD, my cousin plays on one of the tracks, I was even at the engineer’s house when the final product was put into Kari’s hands. Oh yeah, and I went with her to pick up the first run of CDs, box after box after box. This entire process took over a year to complete. I’m looking forward to being there for the whole “official kickoff” part of it too. I guess that’s about it for now. I want to get back to the 30’s. Hey Vito, where are youse? Go get my machine gun!

Projects by Choice

So now that I have more free time I have all these little projects I’ve been mentally keeping a note of wanting to do. Most of them involve the use of my computer (of course). I’m just about done with the database. One more slight stumbling block to overcome. I should be able to resolve that quickly. Next I want to put together a PowerPoint Show for my former co-workers with photos that I’ve taken throughout the life of the project. I can’t wait until this is complete and I can send it off to everyone. Pretty much the entire time we worked together I brought my camera to anything we did. I’ve got photos of different locations we visited, celebrations we had at every milestone, parties for the various weddings, promotions, babies and birthdays, and just some candid everyday shots I took along the way. I heard all the complaints about the fact that they could never do anything with me that didn’t involve pictures being taken. Yet I know once this file is sent to them, they’ll all be happy to have a little token of our time together. I will too. After that, I want to pick up where I left off with dropping my entire CD collection onto my external hard drive. I really want to downsize my hard copies of CDs and go MP3 as much as possible. I figure I can be a packrat all I want in my storage space as long as I can get rid of some of the stuff I actually have lying around my house. Plus, the thought of having my entire music library at my fingertips to take on the road, to work, in my car to someone else’s house and virtually anywhere once I’ve then uploaded it to my player is very cool to me and will be well worth the work. It’s really nice to know that I can finally do some of the things I want to do for me. It’s been such a long time since I could. Now if I could just get a job I would be able to take a real vacation between leaving this one and starting the next.

It's Past My Bedtime

Been developing a frigin' database in Access for the past 4-5 days. Ugh. I haven't created one from scratch in a lot of years. I'm having a blast doing it but I'm also finding myself completely engrossed to the point of having to yank myself away. It's way too late on a Sunday night for me to still be plugging away at this thing. Sometimes I hate that about myself. I get so fixated on something that I MUST FINISH IT NOW! AND PERFECTLY! Lord! What's wrong with me? I actually dreamed about the damn thing last night! Scary part is, and I can't believe I'm writing this, sometimes when I get stuck on something the answer comes to me in a dream. I had forgetten about that since I haven't done this in so long but it happened again the other night. I don't know whether to feel sorry for my geek-ass self or consider it a gift I have which seems to solve some of my technical problems. Maybe I should consider a job as a psychic to the techies. Yeah. Mmm hmm. All right, I have to go to bed. I have to follow up on a second interview tomorrow for a job I think may actually have my interest. I need to get some rest and be ready for whatever they plan to put me through. Well maybe just another half an hour...

Wet Head

Does my enjoyment of rain in some way tie in with my water-bearer zodiac sign? Just a thought. Saw The Ladykillers tonight. Great film. Well with the Coen Brothers and Tom Hanks, how can you go wrong. Very funny. I'm still thinking about it right now.

Pillow Talk

Another week is almost behind me. I really can’t believe it’s April. The first quarter of the year is over already. Time just keeps on flying by and sometimes I wonder what it is that I’m meant to be doing with my life. It’s late on a Thursday night and I’m sitting up in bed when most single men and women in my neighborhood are just a few blocks away at the hot spot for this night of the week. I’m not the least bit interested in being there and rarely am. Does knowing this negate my right to question why I continue to be single? I’m not sure that it does. At this moment in my life I’m not really bothered about the fact that I’ve now been on my own for over 3 ½ years; the longest period in my adult life. Despite this, in the long term I don’t want it to remain that way. So where exactly does this put me? I don’t like, and never really have, meeting women at a bar. I don’t play sports or belong to any clubs. Surprisingly I do meet women at work although the vast majority of them are not single and the ones that are really aren’t my type. The sad fact is it’s really difficult to find potential dating-material women. From what I hear from my straight female friends, in LA it’s pretty difficult to meet potential dating-material people as a whole. Although this is supposed to make me think we’re all in the same boat, I know we’re not. In fact, all this does is show me that LA may just be a tougher dating scene in general than other cities. Instead of comforting me as I believe the intention is, it gives me even less hope that I’ll meet someone who I truly connect with. Meanwhile, all around me I see so many couples who shouldn’t be together. It’s my whole “forcing a square into a circle” syndrome. You can make it fit, but in reality it just doesn’t. Some of these pairs I have no doubt will stay together for the long haul. I wouldn’t switch places with them for a day. I can’t even count how many conversations I’ve had with them about their unhappiness. Yet, they stay, year after year. What kind of life is that? Now I know there is no perfect relationship. Anything worth anything requires work. But you have to at least have some reward at the end of the challenge. At the end of each day, when your head hits the pillow, if your heart’s not warmed when you look at the head on the pillow next to you, why bother? This may sound morbid to some but my litmus test has always been this – If I were to die tomorrow would I know that I found the person that made my world complete? If I can’t honestly answer ‘yes’, then I have no business in that relationship. I have only felt that once in my life. Unfortunately, my partner changed her mind after 5 years. I still believe that I will find that head on the pillow…someday.