Monday, March 27, 2006

What's My Personality?

I've got a lot to write and no time to write it. For now, I found this and thought it would be interesting to post. Click here and select the attributes that you feel best describe me: http://kevan.org/johari?name=Moneyca. I'll be posting soon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Soup's On

Another successful cousin dinner last night at my brother’s place. Thanks Bonz! No Krystal this time; she was missed. Hopefully she’ll make the next one. I thought I wrote about this before but can’t seem to find an entry. Maybe I just thought about writing it. Little by little more of my family is moving from Northern California to Southern California. It’s been great for us down here but our families who are still up there can’t seem to identify with the appeal. That’s ok, it’s fine with us. Right now there are six of us who all live somewhere between Manhattan Beach and North Hollywood. Let me see if I can remember this. Noreen was first. She moved here to attend Long Beach State. Next was me – a job offer. Bill came down third to continue his pursuit into the music business. Ruben was after that. He came down just for a fresh start. Raquel, Bill’s sister spent a few years in San Diego before moving to Hollywood. She too wanted to change her surroundings. Last was Krystal. She is now here going to school just like her big sister Noreen did. We all still travel up to the Bay Area at Christmas although I’m starting to think our relatives should give us all a break and journey down here at least once. So we started having these “Cousin Dinners” a couple of years ago. It was a great way to get us all in a room without there being a special occasion. Just the cousins, no guests or significant others, in a relaxed environment. A little dinner, a little wine and lots of catching up with each other. We rotate around with who sets it up. That person either has it at his/her place or picks a restaurant to meet. My turn hasn’t come up since I moved but I’m looking forward to it. It’s been a really great experience to get to know my cousins as adults. It seems people don’t always have a lot in common with cousins. It’s the same for me with some of my other cousins (and yes I do have many). Our little LA family, though, does really genuinely like and care about one another. I don’t take that for granted. All of our parents have also told us that it makes them happy that we’ve done this. I hope they continue and who knows, the migrating cousin tradition may not be over yet.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Hit Me On The Hip

I’m starting to hate cell phones. I saw a piece on Good Day LA the other morning about movie theatres that were looking into blocking cell phone usage in their buildings. When the story was over, they went back to the anchors and right away someone said, “Well, what if you and your spouse are out for the evening and the babysitter has an emergency? They should at least let people put their phones on vibrate.” OH NO! How could those evil movie theatres block service! Bastards! I’m so sick of people not being able to spend even a couple of hours without their precious phone. Jesus, how did life ever occur without the ability to get a hold of anyone at anytime? Guess what? It did. Somehow, someway, it just did. Don’t get me wrong, I too can fall victim to this at times. I’m trying to change that. Last Friday I saw three people sitting at a table during happy hour. All of them were on their phones. It was St. Patrick’s Day. These people probably called each other at some point and decided to meet at this bar for drinks to celebrate. Why bother? This whole scenario went on for several minutes. The drinks were drunk, the bill was paid, someone took a trip to the bathroom, and they all left. The epitome of ridiculous. This is the world we live in today. No matter who is standing before you, at some point someone more important is going to get your attention by way of phone. Chances are you’ll make plans to see that person to then later take another call while sitting across from them. In the interest of not writing a novel, I won’t even go into caller ID. Remember back in school in P.E. when two captains picked teams? You sure as hell did not want to get picked last, right? You thought those days were over? Silly you! Caller ID. Enough said. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear my profession had absolutely nothing to do with telecommunications…

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

What day did I wake up and find myself interested in news? I remember when I was a kid my brothers and I would watch some random sitcom rerun. Three’s Company pops in my mind for some reason. My Mom would come home from work, have her nightly shot of tequila*, “to unwind”, put her purse down (yes sometimes in that order) and then tell us she wanted to watch the news. It happened every night yet every night we would all groan and someone would get off their ass and change the channel. (Yes, kids this was before the remote control!) Soon thereafter we would leave the room. That is my memory of my opinion about news. Today, it seems I can’t get enough of it. I’ve got local news, world news and BBC modules on my Yahoo home page. I check the stock market. Oh wait, let me back up. First thing when I wake up, I turn on Good Day LA. I’ll admit it is more entertainment than news but all lot of why I watch is for traffic and weather. Next is my drive. KFWB news AM 980 is where I’m tuned. I get my fill of LA news for the day. If not that, then I’ve got Air America on. Lately I’ve even been catching a little of the late news before I go to bed. I would think people as a whole would be more tuned in to world events at a time of war. Maybe this is partly why I read and listen so much. Maybe not. Maybe it’s that it’s easier in this day and age to have access to the news. Whenever I’m on a business trip or just staying in a hotel in general, I always absorb the newspaper that is left at my door. Other than that, I never read the paper. I feel like I really don’t have the time, yet I read it online. I guess it just seems more available that way. Well, that and my hands stay clean! By the way, I do miss the San Francisco Chronicle because of that. They were one of the first papers to print on smudge-free paper. You could actually read the entire thing and walk away with clean hands. I never understood why more papers didn’t do that. Didn’t seem to hurt them financially. Just one of my many thoughts for the day. *If I had to come home to four kids after a hard day at work I know I’d be shooting something hard too!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Controlling 40

Seems like life is moving in fast motion for me this year. Fast changes, fast discoveries, fast work pace. It’s March 13th and I feel like almost an entire year’s worth of time has passed. I don’t like it. Things need to slow down. I don’t know how much more I can take. Last year was filled with a lot of action for me. Most of it was out of my control. This year I really wanted to spend appreciating my last year in my 30s. So far, not so good. So, I decided to take hold of the reigns and do something about it; control what I could. After all, I can’t complain if I don’t do anything about it. I’ve wanted to have a big 40th birthday party. I want to plan it myself. Last week I booked a DJ; an old friend from Northern California who now lives down here. My brother and I used to spend a lot of time with him because he, like us, has always been a huge fan of music. We would go to concerts, shop for music in our favorite spot, Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, and (I know I’m dating myself now) make mix tapes. Anyway, he has since started his own DJ business. It’s been just about 11 years now and he is doing really well. His equipment is top of the line and he has a staff under him now. We have very loosely stayed in contact over the years but the last time I saw him was something like 1998-1999. All that to say that he will be there to make sure we have a good time. He knows my taste, he knows me. It’ll be good. (On a side note, he took me to my very first lesbian bar up in Oakland. He was also the first person to whom I actually uttered the words “gay” in reference to myself.) Next, is the location. I have a couple of places in mind and have emails out to them to gather pricing and availability. If neither of those work out, I’ll have to do some thinking. Beyond that I have just about 10 months to put this together. I want actual paper invitations, catering, maybe even make it a little more formal. Whatever I decide, this is my way of taking back the year and steering it in the direction I want it to go. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Great News

Today I got some of the best news I’ve heard in a while. “You’re Ok.” Two simple words, very comforting to me. About three weeks ago I discovered a lump in my breast. It just so happened that I was due for my yearly exam anyway. I made the appointment for the following week. My doctor is the greatest. I’ve been seeing her for about six years after being referred to her when it was discovered that I had another issue that needed treatment. That time, it was Endometriosis and it resulted in a major operation. My doctor was incredible throughout the entire process, from identifying it all the way to following up for several years afterward. Today, she is the only one I will see. She was unsure about whether or not the lump was something to be concerned about and sent me to St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, Home of the Joyce Eisenberg Keefer Breast Center which is part of the John Wayne Cancer Institute. This is supposedly a renowned treatment center. I was scheduled for a mammogram and an ultrasound. This was also the place I had gone three years prior which meant they had a history on file to refer to. I walked out of there told that I was fine but for some reason I just didn’t feel satisfied. The following evening around 7:00 my doctor called me after having reviewed the report from the St. John’s. She explained that she was uncertain with what to do. The summary of the report said that I was fine but the details listed the lump being recognized but not defined. What the hell?!? was what she and I both said to that. She asked how I felt. I told her I’d like to get a second opinion. Her answer was “Good, I was hoping you would say that” and decided to send me to a specialist at Cedar’s Sinai Cancer Center. The doctor there was very well-known in the field and even treated my doctor’s Mother when she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Today I went to that appointment. Again, as I was last time, I was nervous and even a little afraid. Up to this point five separate people, including myself, had actually confirmed there was a lump. I sat in the waiting room for quite some time. My thoughts running laps around the small room. Why is it that everywhere I turn, from TV to radio to billboards, Cancer is the theme? I have a hard time watching The L Word, this morning on Air America as I drove to my appointment I heard a Breast Cancer study that is advertising for volunteers. I changed the channel to and AM station to check traffic. They announce that Dana Reeve has passed away from Lung Cancer and didn’t even smoke. Jesus! Is this some sort of message or something? Thankfully, it was not. The doctor I saw today did a very thorough exam. I wasn’t exactly comfortable when she entered the room as she is, at the oldest, my age. And a specialist? Hmm… Anyway, I quickly changed my mind when she began speaking. Asking some very specific questions about family history and my health. Next was an extremely detailed visual and manual exam. A little uncomfortable given that she was also an extremely attractive woman. Ok, she was hot! But I digress. Thirdly, was performed an ultrasound. All the way through she explained what she was noticing, answered my many questions, and generally made me feel at ease. Finally, she said I was fine and had nothing to worry about. To add to this, she offered to order a biopsy if I was not completely convinced. I asked her how confident she was with her findings. She ensured me that she was very confident. That was all I needed to hear. I can’t help but feel fortunate that I happen to live nearby and have direct access to some of the best doctors in the world. Tonight I will sleep deeply and happily for the first time in weeks.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Time

Can't sleep again. I've been awake since 4:00. A millions things running through my mind yet I've been staring at this blank page for what seems to be an eternity. I know I'll be ok. Somehow deep down I feel that; just don't want to get too comfortable with that idea. I have nothing to base that upon except a feeling. My track record there has been pretty bad lately and when I think about that, the worry comes back. It's early and that is my factual comfort. It's small too. That said, I can't help but envision the worst. How could I not? How could anyone not? Taking stock. Am I satisfied? Am I happy? Am I ready? I've never been afraid of dying. What I have been afraid of is not having the chance to do what I wanted with my life before that happens. When it's time to go there's really nothing you can do about it. I don't want to live to be ridiculously old, no matter how healthy I am. I don't want to die yet, either. Another thirty years maybe 35 tops is plenty for me. At the rate the economy's going, that's about all I'll have to sustain myself financially anyway. I don't have kids so it'll all be on me, baby! That still doesn't make me reconsider my thoughts on that. Jesus it's early and I see no hope in me going back to sleep. I guess the bottom line is that I still have things that I need to do for myself before I can be satisfied that I've accomplished my dreams. Hopefully, for all of us, we'll have enough time.

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