Controlling 40

Seems like life is moving in fast motion for me this year. Fast changes, fast discoveries, fast work pace. It’s March 13th and I feel like almost an entire year’s worth of time has passed. I don’t like it. Things need to slow down. I don’t know how much more I can take. Last year was filled with a lot of action for me. Most of it was out of my control. This year I really wanted to spend appreciating my last year in my 30s. So far, not so good. So, I decided to take hold of the reigns and do something about it; control what I could. After all, I can’t complain if I don’t do anything about it. I’ve wanted to have a big 40th birthday party. I want to plan it myself. Last week I booked a DJ; an old friend from Northern California who now lives down here. My brother and I used to spend a lot of time with him because he, like us, has always been a huge fan of music. We would go to concerts, shop for music in our favorite spot, Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, and (I know I’m dating myself now) make mix tapes. Anyway, he has since started his own DJ business. It’s been just about 11 years now and he is doing really well. His equipment is top of the line and he has a staff under him now. We have very loosely stayed in contact over the years but the last time I saw him was something like 1998-1999. All that to say that he will be there to make sure we have a good time. He knows my taste, he knows me. It’ll be good. (On a side note, he took me to my very first lesbian bar up in Oakland. He was also the first person to whom I actually uttered the words “gay” in reference to myself.) Next, is the location. I have a couple of places in mind and have emails out to them to gather pricing and availability. If neither of those work out, I’ll have to do some thinking. Beyond that I have just about 10 months to put this together. I want actual paper invitations, catering, maybe even make it a little more formal. Whatever I decide, this is my way of taking back the year and steering it in the direction I want it to go. Wish me luck.