Sunday, July 24th 2005

My grandfather is dying as I write this. He has been read his last rites and my Mom and two uncles are sitting by his bed for the night in intensive care. Ironically, he is leaving this world in the very hospital where I entered into his. This past November my Ito celebrated his 90th birthday. Family came from all over and there were even the obnoxious Mariachis present. The tequila was flowing and the party was on. It did occur to me at some point during the evening that everyone in the place was significantly younger than he. Most were relatives, either by blood or marriage. The oldest relative there was my great-aunt, my Grandmother’s sister. She’s got to be in her late 70’s. My Ita passed away a little over 10 years ago. My Ito remarried less than a year later and his second wife is now bed-ridden and living with her daughter who for the last two years has barely allowed my Ito to see her. I am the oldest Grandchild. In Spanish Grandparents are Abuelita and Abuelito. I couldn’t pronounce those words as a kid and Ita and Ito stuck. All the subsequent grandkids just followed suit and eventually they accepted these are their grandparent names. My Ita had severe arthritis that lasted over 20 years. By the time she passed, her limbs were so bent and twisted that she had no use of her hands or feet. I am the only grandchild who even remembers a time when she could walk. My Ito stayed by her side throughout all of this; into his retirement. By contrast, my Ito was the epitome of health. He has a hearing aid but doesn’t even wear glasses. He rides his bicycle to and from church and around the neighborhood. He had two heart attacks back in the 70’s and as a result has been taking blood thinning meds since then. Recently with the cruel treatment he’s been receiving by his wife’s daughter, he’s been extremely depressed and anxious. Not something anyone in the family is still used to seeing. As a result he was put on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. The story is with all the stress and new meds, he forgot to take his blood thinners for a couple of days. His blood clotted which caused an aneurism and now he is lying in a bed with a morphine drip waiting to meet up with my Ita. I love living in LA so much so it is very rare when I ever wish I was living in Northern California. Right now, I’d give anything to be close enough to say goodbye. I just got off the phone with my step-father who said that even a plane ride would more than likely not be quick enough. Ito is my last living grandparent. You know when you share stories like this everyone has one of their own. I know I should feel fortunate that I got to enjoy him for as long as I did. After all, I am 38 years old and I suppose there aren’t a lot of people my age who still have their grandparents. I just can’t get over the fact that a man who has always been invincible to me is so suddenly going to die. I’ll process this, I know. For now though, I am awaiting that call from the hospital and I just don’t want to hear the phone ring.