Is It Bedtime Yet?

I’m tired. I mean completely, utterly exhausted. I’m not quite sure why. I haven’t been over-exerting myself much. About all I can chalk it up to is that my body and mind are finally, for probably the first time this year, allowing myself to slow down. At first I had a fear it was depression related. I don’t think it is. It’s different. Although I am less than thrilled about mostly anything, I truly believe this ennui is simply due to my desperate need for extended rest. I’d love to take like a week off from work, not tell anyone (well most everyone) and just lock myself in my house and sleep. It’s certainly not a question of having vacation hours. Racked up enough of those over years and years on the last project with little time off. Unfortunately I can’t. Work is too busy and only getting busier. It may sound strange that I would want to use my hard earned vacation time to sit around at home. Considering the year I had though it’s not surprising to me. To have my own space that I can either choose to share or not, is paradise to me. If you want me to scream, just show me a suitcase! Seriously. Anyway, I want this year to be over. I want a new calendar, a new number on the check. Give me a fresh new twelve months to carve out with my own space. That’s the best Christmas present I can get this year. In 2005 I celebrated my 10th year of living in LA. I had hoped to really recognize that day, Cinco de Mayo. I should have taken it as a sign when I was deathly ill on that day. 2006 will be my final year in my 30s too. Hard to believe but true. Jesus, maybe that’s why I need sleep! I guess pretty soon I’ll be taking afternoon naps! 39. Thirty-nine. Hmmm. That’s an entirely different entry for another time…